| To get right to the point, this
film fucking sucks. It sucks a lot of un-bathed victorian
ass. The only thing this movie has to show for itself is a
good costume designer. Seriously. That's it. I'm telling you
right now, hoping you haven't already endured the pain that
is uncontrollably invoked in all good humans while viewing
this film, don't watch this movie.
Reese Witherspoon should have known better. I think her sense
of quality must have been fogged over by the thought of Oscar
possibilities, when she accepted the roll of a "bold,
class climbing, strong woman," from a time when women
weren't much more than baby factories. But, I do believe she
failed to realize two things: 1) She can't act well enough
to play the character. 2) The character is not the description
above, but, instead, a boring, gold-digging whore, with no
strength, or anything of worth about her.
In Reese's defense, the movie may have been even worse if
the lead was played by someone who is not as hot as Reese.
But, I must also mention here that she doesn't even get slightly
naked, when fully naked was kind
of required. Who has sex with ALL of their clothes on?! Ahhhh!
I'm so sick of this movie/television bullshit where people
have sex (with plenty of time) with only a bra on, or something
equally pointless. If they're not going to show their tits,
then why have them facing the camera? This sex scene takes
it a step further and leaves her elephant dress on. But! Oh,
wait! It was unzipped. Now I believe they really
had sex!
Ugh. Moving on...
The movie is crap. Crap, crap, crap. It's too long, it's
boring, you won't care if everyone dies and will kind of be
hoping they do, its timeline is choppy, the acting is bad,
the passion is non-existent, the rebel looks like he was attacked
by the Queer Eye guys and a bottle of hair gel, and I would
have walked out if my friend wasn't required to watch it (don't
ask).
Vanity Fair = Bad. Not watching Vanity Fair = Good.
|
Vanity
Fair
Rating:
Starring:
Reese Witherspoon
Buy
The Soundtrack
Try
The Book?
|
